Bouncers will tell you

“Smoke over there”

“Stand in that line”

“Get off of that chair”

 

Bouncers will tell you

“Too many guys”

“Not in those shorts”

“Not with those fries”

 

Bouncers will tell you

“Need your ID”

“I can’t let you in”

“Please wait to pee”

 

Bouncers will tell you

“I’m finishing school”

“You gotta go home”

“You dress like a tool”

 

Bouncers I tell you

I’m sick of your games

Stop acting so mighty

You’re really quiet lame

 

Your black leather jacket

Your perpetual gut

Just work the line

Keep your mouth shut

 

You’re just a pawn

In the club owners game

And that makes us

One and the same 

Poems for Old People

Grandma and Grandpa

I love you so

Life without you

I’d rather not know

 

Now you’ve got e-mail

We talk all the time

But you abuse it

Please heed my rhyme

 

Those chain letters

Get on my nerves

Be it about Israel,

Diabetes Or Pervs

 

Remember the one

By Sam in 2A?

Not very funny

Not one single way

 

I respect my elders

Cut me some slack

I already know

Obama is black

 

Think before sending

Or delete you I might

You leave me no choice

My inbox is tight

The Old Man and the Locker Room

Today at the gym

I worked on my chest

I did it with dumbbells,

Pushups, and Press

 

My shirt is all sweaty

I labored an hour

Now I am tired,

And in need of a shower

 

I grab my towel

I do it with speed

To avoid the rush known as

“The Sauna Stampede”

 

But you old man

You stand in my way

Flaunting your pubic hair

It’s old, curly, and gray

 

Now I’ve missed my shot

At the best shower stall

Because you’re meandering

As if inside a mall

 

I’ve written you this poem

I don’t like to be rude

But you hinder my progress

While consistently nude

 

God damn it sir!

Put a towel on!

Call it a day!

Stop asking me the time,

And put your Johnson away!

 

 

            Just a little fun for a Tuesday, but beware Wednesday lurks and with it………….THE PLEASURE MASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!