Finalist #4

Contestant Number Four, please don’t be a bore!

 

• Why do you hate cauliflower? Because your brothers ear was really disturbing that one time.
• Who are you? Chet Steadman
• What is the name of your shoe? “The Reel”
• What is your favorite Gumption post? Publicly Held Private Conversations 
• What performance-enhancing drug is your favorite? Old School Anabolic Steroids, “The Juice”, if you’re gonna do it, do it right!
• Who is your favorite explorer? Christopher Columbus
• Finish this statement: Teddy Jones is bizzalls.
• Finish this statement: Butang is short.
• What is your favorite moment in American History? When the Nets traded for Jason Kidd
• Who is currently the world’s biggest ass clown? Scott Boras. Can I tell you why? He’s not even good at what he does anymore. He should kill himself; he just accepted a deal he refused three times. My boss is really number one, but I can’t say that on the phone. Drew Rosenhaus, shit Barney Frank! Barney Frank!
• What really grinds your gears? Female sports announcers.
• Maple Syrup or Cinnamon AND Sugar? I prefer Syrup.
• Thelonious Monk or Coltrane? Thelonious Monk
• The Boss or The Boss? The Fuckin’ Boss, Jersey Bitches!
• Ferris Oxide or Magnesium Sulfate? Definitely not magnesium sulfate, so we’re gonna go with Ferris oxide.
• Why are you still here? Because Stone Cold said so.
• What’s your favorite sexual position (real or imaginary)? Reverse Cowgirl OTA (On Top Ass) and that’s real.
• Swamp Ass: Great feeling or Greatest feeling? I’ll go with great, it’s just great.
• What’s something nobody knows about you, but a bunch of random people are about to? I may or may not have a hernia. I also have a freckle on the inside of my left palm, and I think that bodes well for my sneaker making ability.
• Why should the Gumption public vote for you? Because my shit is the shizzzillllitttedddness. Which is just awesome.

 

Voting will open Friday morning!