So far the blog that Butang and Teddy have presented has little or nothing to do with our logo. Today I will expound a little on my love for this era, as well as give you your daily dose of social commentary.
During the colonial period in American history, America was a much wilder place. I dig that idea. Recently I forced a reader of this blog to sit through PBS’s “Christmas in Yellowstone”. In HD, it is a stunning account of winter in America’s last wild frontier. Watching the spectacular images, I imagine myself on Lewis and Clark’s expedition coming across giant coyotes, geysers, and Indian chiefs. Somewhere in the middle of the flick, the bison matriarch gets stuck in a seven-foot deep snowdrift. The other bison will not move before their leader, so everyone just stands there waiting. The picture is hilarious; it looks like an irrational furry traffic jam in the midst of a blizzard. Right at the end of the shot, the narrator echoes an obvious but interesting point: “winter here is not hard for these animals, just limiting.”
In New York City, far away from Old Faithful and Wolves, winter is not hard at all, just limiting. During this weekends’ snow I enjoyed my favorite pastime, discovering new music. I came across a new James Taylor album and on it an awesome cover of “Seminole Wind”. The song is an account of the draining of the Everglades, and the destruction of the south Florida swamp. While the Seminole wind may no longer blow, their influence remains in names. Turns out, Native American’s give some sick names!
Some locations and tribes: Ticonderoga, Iroquois (Ir Oh Koy), Apache, Okeechobee (O Kee Cho Bee), Micanopy (Mick A No Pee), Saratoga, Shawnee, and Sioux. Even translated by the white man, Native American Chief’s names were awesome. Would you ever fuck with someone named Sitting Bull or Crazy Legs? Doubtful.
African Americans take a close second when it comes to names. Some personal favorites: Anfernee, Knowshon, Jermaine, Jajuan, and Jamario. People of my race sometimes like to make fun, and I feel awful when they do. As a Jew I would never name my kid Ramses (Egyptian Pharaoh), Ferdinand (Spanish Inquisition), or Adolf (You don’t need my help). So why do you suppose an African American would be satisfied naming their child Robert, James, or George? Obviously those names have no particular significance, except for the fact that they are predominantly white and white people enslaved black people. Just saying.
Furthermore I think African American’s deserve points for creativity. Gwenyth Paltrow named her kid Apple. I hate to rush to judgment, so I waited a couple of years and I still don’t get it. Since when did any random noun suffice as someone’s name? Gwenyth is playing a high stakes game of Mad Libs!
Following Gwenyth’s logic you could come up with the following names:
§ A dog named “Toaster”
§ A cat named “Hose”
§ A canary named “Sweden”
§ A boy named “Zamboni”
§ A streetcar named “Desire”
Actually that last one doesn’t work; I just got caught up in the moment. Butang is a little sick so if you want to send him a get well wish feel free to in the comment section for this post. I’m Teddy Jones and this is The Gumption.
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